Bottomless Pit

Our desire for things outside of ourselves is our own undoing. -Intellectual Shaman

I had a problem, and the lies grew larger, as I grew larger. I was fat, very fat, but I believed I was thin on the inside; so, all I needed to do was flip a switch in my brain and become thin again. Wherever I went, people recommended diets to me, but I scoffed at their remedies for the common man. They always gained their weight back because they thought they were fat, but I knew I was thin; so, when I decided to lose weight, it would happen effortlessly.

It didn’t help that I was the reigning champion of the Bottomless Pie Competition. Most scientists agree that eating 12 blackberry pies defies gastric possibility. But I had worked-out my stomach every day like a champion for years, stretching it to the limit with sausages and…